Make Sure Your Worry Makes Sense

Worrying can be a productive way to stave off problems, but for many people, worrying can become more vexing than the original problem they were grappling with. Here’s an exercise recommended by Robert L. Leahy, director of The American Institute for Cognitive Therapy, which can help you understand the difference between productive and unproductive worry:

Imagine that you are on trial and facing 20 years in prison. You’ve hired a lawyer and you’re praying she’s going to be able to help you. She leans over and says, “Don’t worry. I never do. I never worry about a thing. Instead, I just try to think positively.”

Now ask yourself: “Is this the person I want representing me? Someone who doesn’t worry about anything--not even what’s going to happen to her client?”

The answer, of course, is a resounding no. You want a lawyer who’s going to worry over details--cover everything that needs to be covered, so you don’t end up in prison for 20 years. What you want is for your lawyer to worry, and then take appropriate action so that she is prepared, Leahy says.

Now imagine a lawyer who leans over and whispers to you, “Wanna know my secret? I never prepare for a case--I just worry. It’s why I’m known as such a great attorney. All I do is worry. As a matter of fact, a lot of times I actually worry myself sick and have to go into the restroom and throw up.”

Do you want this person representing you? Again, the answer is no. What you want is an attorney who can help you solve your problems. And that’s exactly what your worry should do for you, says Leahy: help you solve your problems. If it doesn’t, you’re probably participating in unproductive worry, which is unlikely to get you anywhere, except on your way to becoming overly anxious and possibly depressed.

Leahy recommends asking these two questions to keep worry in its proper place:

Is the problem plausible or reasonable? If you’re getting ready to take a trip to a national park, for instance, it’s appropriate to worry about getting accurate directions and having your car tuned up before you go. Worrying about being shot by a sniper along the way, which is unlikely, is probably a waste of time.
Can something be done about the problem immediately? If you answer yes to this question, you can probably come up with an action plan to get something done that will alleviate your worry. To continue the previous example: Can you get on the Internet and get directions? Can you get an appointment with a mechanic? As for the sniper, unless you can afford a new bulletproof car and a wardrobe of Kevlar, forget about it.